Remembering
by bookjunkie0225
Summary: What if Castle remembers his abduction? A different take on what will transpire to Castle all the people around him.
1. Chapter 1

Kate woke up in the middle of the night feeling cold. She reached for Castle's side of the bed wanting his body heat, but it's empty. The sheets are cold, he's been long gone. She looks out the window, tonight the moon nor the stars are nowhere in sight. It leaves the loft in darkness, bone crushing darkness yet she feels hope. Music coming from the baby grand at the living room is being played. Curiosity pulls her and she made her way to it thingking Martha is out tonight and Alexis is still in Columbia. That only leaves one person, but does Castle play? Never did he mention it to her, right? She sighs and gently shades her head, up until now he still surprices her with his many talents.

And then there he is, her Castle. Hunched back with fingers fluidly moving through the paino pieces. His face devoid of emotions but a bubble of solemnity envelops his body. She does not have the heart to interrupt his play so there she was in the shadows, eyes closed, arms crossed, silently waiting for it to end, savoring the tune. Then she can't help but stare at him. She often teases him that staring is creepy, but she always loved it when he does it. Not that she'll tell him about it anyway. Never had she heared of this tune before, it was so raw and it goes so well with the rain pouring outside. It's as if the heavens is mourning, what is this about?

Bang!

She was startled with the sound. She immediately grabed her gun in her hip but it was not there. She had put it in the drawer beside the bed when she slept. She looked at Castle, man what a sight.

There he was fists pounding the piano, tears running through his beautiful face. His whole body is shaking from anguish. Her heart clenched for him. Without further thinking she rushed to him. She pulled his body to hers and enveloped him with her arms. She let him cry in her shoulders whispering nothings to him until his sobs turned to whimpers and his body relaxed.

She pulled him out of her embrace and held his head to see his face. She wiped the tears still present in it and kissed his forehead, to both his eyes, his nose and then his soft lips.

"Castle, babe what's wrong?" Kate worriedly asked him.

"Kate I... I" he hesitantly say.

The took a deep breath, looked her in the eyes and said.

"It's coming back. I'm remembering it."


	2. Chapter 2

A few days ago...

Castle have been couped up at Blackpawn for a whole day. A whole fucking day listening to Paula and Gina's bickering about promotion's, book tours and TV appearances. His head have been throbbing non stop now. What he would do to be with Kate at the moment. But no, he's butt was glued to this seat for hours and hours, only allowed to stand to relieve his bladder.

Excusing himself to pee for the nth time that day. He walked the length of the hallway to the comfort room. He looked himself at the mirror. Shook his head and started splashing himself some cold water. Headaches, what terrible headaches he has. He balled his fists and rubbed his temple. Having enough of it he returned to the torture chamber.

~~~~~~~~~~

The elevator up to his place is too slow for his liking. He just want to go to bed and crawl under those satiny sheets of their bed.

"Hey babe, how were you treated by the devils?" Kate asked him upon entering the loft.

Castle pulled her to him and buried his face in her lovely curls. He sighed, Kate has always been her comfort zone ever since they were together and vice versa.

"It's torture Kate, complete torture. I'd rather be with you at the precint doing boring paper works than be with them" he pouted and gave Kate is patented puppy dog eyes.  
>"Sorry to hear that babe. By the way I bought your favorite cheeze burgers from Remy's. Wanna eat?"<br>"Um," he stated not wanting to hurt her feelings "Can I raincheck on that. I just want to sleep. My heads gonna explode"

Kate watched Castle's retreating form. She just can't help but feel sorry for him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Flashes, flashes of lights, trees, people whose face were obscured that's what he keeps on seeing everytime he closes his damned eyes. What the heck is wrong with him? He keeps on relieving what the fake Jenkins have told him. What did I want to forget? What, what, WHAT!

He slowly slipped out of the bed as to not wake Kate. Went to his office took a piece of paper and scribbled nothings in it.

Write, erase, write again and erased more. When he has finally calmned he read what had he written.

~~~~~~~~~~

Treasure the pain  
>The complexity of things<br>The solemnity of the place  
>The blackness that surrounds your very being<br>The fight from within  
>The will to voice the problem<br>The withdrawal to do the opposite  
>The urge to cry, to hide, to mock your mere presence<br>The thoughts of building that wall to support that darkness  
>What is the truth behind the facade you call face?<p>

He slowly crumpled the paper took out a match and burned it at the fireplace. As ashes replaced the then white piece of paper he only had one question directed to himself.

What is the truth behind Richard Castle?


	3. Chapter 3

Kate's POV

After that night I keep on asking him what he remembered. He kept on evading me, telling me it was only flashes of these and that. I did not push him. Who am I to demand that to him, when I was in his position he respected me. And now that the situation have been reversed I will do the same for him. In due time, when he is ready he will tell me. In the mean time, I'm just happy that he is not shutting himself out from us just like what I did to him. Is this what he felt when I pushed him? God, this sucks!

I was awaken by the ringing of my phone at the bed side table. I did not even realize that I fell asleep from thinking numerous situations with Castle.

"Beckett" I sleepily answered.  
>"Beckett, we have a body. And it's bad."<br>"What, what is it?" I can't mask the anxiety in my voice.

The next scenes have been blurred. I just hurriedly took a quick shower and changed. I did not even wake Castle up. I was afraid of what he'll do.

Crimescene

I was informed that Castle was about to enter the building. Esposito, Ryan, Lanie and I looked at each other not knowing what to expect when he comes.

"He can't be here Kate. It's too damned personal for him." Javi voiced out.

"Is it true? Where is she?" Castle asked, his face is masked with emotions.  
>"Kate it was me there will you just walk away?" He angrily said to me.<p>

I was rooted to the spot. Those were the same words I have said to him when Royce was murdered. I was not able to do anything than to follow him.

Castle's POV

I was afraid to walk towards the body. My own body is betraying me. My feet feels like their glued to the floor, my breathing is so labored and my heart feels like it'll explode from my chest.

Please, let it be a prank. Anytime now someone will exclaim "Surprice!" But as I took my surroundings no one's smiling, they all hold a grim look on their faces or was it sympathy?

Ryan and Esposito tried to stop me from proceeding, I just glared at them and they backed down. Lanie was also there, "I'm sorry Castle" was her only words for me.

That is when I saw the scene. My God, all the blood rushed out of my face. I feel light headed. Oh God why, why?

I took my step towards the body, it's like a nightmare come true.


	4. Chapter 4

Castle's POV

She was lying on the table. At first glance you might say she's just sleeping. Her face so calm, did she know that she'll die last night? Did she make peace to the fact that last night was her last? So many questions without answers.

I looked at her, I want to embed this scene in my mind. I took all the details into my head. Still in her work clothes with her Jimmy Choos still on her feet, her blond hair splayed beautifully around her face with a single strand astray. I smiled, she always gets so frustrated when her hair was unrully. Hand clasped on her stomach, and what angers me the most is that strangulation mark around her neck. There's no doubt it's his MO. But that's not all, he even gave her flowers. In fact she was covered in roses. A personal vendetta indeed. I still thanked God because she was naked or I would have lost it right there.

I looked back into her face. Protocol be damned with or without my gloves I touched her face and fixed her hair the way she liked it. Without further ado I bent down and kissed her forhead.

Memories swarmed my vision, we may have ended our marriage but the closeness was still there. She may be the dragon lady of Black Pawn, but she's my dragon lady. And no one does it better than she is.

"I'm so sorry Gina. I promise to kill that son of a bitch and finish this once and for all. Even if it kills me to do so. This has to fucking end." Castle promised to her.

Witnessing such scene, there's not one dry eye in the room. Even the tough New York's finest have their moments. And looking at their beloved writer in pain each and everyone of them have vowed to help him bring this to an end.

Kate's POV

Watching Castle struggling is hard. I expected him to cry to shout, hell even wreck the place down. But no he remained calm, how he was able to do so that I do not know. And it scared me. I looked over at Ryan. He looked guilty, he still cannot get over the fact that Tyson has overpowered him in two occasions. Javi has his fists clenched. All throughout the years he had trusted and respected Castle. Lanie's eyes were shimmering with tears, and there's worry in it too. Our last brush with Tyson has given her nightmares up to now.

I saw Castle straighten up and walked further into the room. I followed him, so did Ryan, Espo and Lanie.

"It's him isn't it Lanie?" Castle asked with his back to us.  
>"There's no doubt, I'm sorry for your loss Rick"<br>"Don't be. Because this will end here, after this that son a bitch won't ever walk the face of the earth again!"

All four of us shivered at his words. There was only one time I heared him with this tone. That is when Alexis was abducted. If Bracken was my worst nightmare, Tyson was his. And to be honest I was even more afraid of Tyson than Bracken. Bracken at some point was predictable, all he did was eradicate those who ruins his plan. Tyson, a psychopath was not.

"Have you checked her office?" Castle asked  
>"We're waiting for the CSU team, her office was locked and needs a code to open" Ryan answered<p>

Castle knew that off course, Gina always locks her office. This is where she reads manuscripts and made schedules, the most important ones. He walked towards the locked office, he puched some numbers in and the doors opened.

Her office was like a copy cat of Castle's exept for the pictures behind her desk. If Castle's was painting her's were 3 pictures. One of Castle, Alexis and in the middle were her picture with Castle and Alexis. I know that Castle was always close to Gina than his first ex wife, even if thay butt heads with his writing, but still I can't help but feel jealous about it.

But the jealousy instantly disappeared. Below those pictures was a message. It said

"How close to death do you want to get"

What does those words mean, looking back at Castle. Body is tensed, his jaw clenched, his fists are now white from gripping the wooden table. He knows something right? But what?


	5. Chapter 5

How close to death do you want to get?

"Castle, what does it mean?" Kate asked  
>"What really happened in that motel room Castle? You didn't give us the whole detail right?" Ryan voiced out<p>

Castle looked Ryan in the eyes. We know that he's right. "Not here," was Castle's only answer.

The CSU have arrived at that moment and we were out of the room to let them work. Gina's body have been moved to the body bag but it still remained open, you can still see her body. Castle's eyes were glued to hers.

"I hate to ask this to you Castle, but when was the last time you saw her? Do you know her schedule? She was your ex wife and your publisist."

He was about to answer when someone screamed. We all look at the entrance of the room to see a distraught Paula. Castle immediately went to her side to calm her. Paula was rooted to the spot, unable to believe what she is seeing.

"Gina's dead Rick? The dragon lady, our dragon lady is dead?" She kept on asking Castle  
>"Yes Paula, I'm afraid so."<p>

He looked at Castle and tears streamed down her face. She's sobbing now and she clings to Castle as if he's her lifeline. Castle just enveloped her in his muscular arms. No matter how many times he whines about Gina and Paula's bitching, they are still some of the closest people to him.

"Paula, you do have Gina's secretary's number right? Can you give them to Detective Esposito? You can do that right?"  
>"Yes, if that's what you need. Castle you'll find out who did this to her right? You'll make them pay, because no one hurts our dragon lady except you and me?" She asked jokingly.<br>Good Castle thought, she's overcomed her shock. Totally Paula he thought, "I promise" was the only answer I gave her.

The ride to the precinct was tense. Gone was her Castle who makes her laugh and smile whenever the opportunity comes. He was just there sitting so still, looking out of the window deep in thought. I prayed to whomever was listening that he won't do anything stupid. Upon entering the 12th precint, the room felt so somber. Captain Gates was already infront of the murder board with the pictures of Tyson's victims. Gina's picture was already there.

"People, the triple killer has struck again. We all know that he has a personal vendetta among the 12th precint most specially detective Beckett's team. This has to end now! I will not tolerate such person to destroy my men, my people. I want this son a bitch gone. Understood?"

"Yes sir!"

"Detectives Beckett, Esposito, Ryan and Mr. Castle. My office please." Summoned Gates.

We followed her inside her office. She closed the door and asked us to seat.

"Mr. Castle, I'm sorry for your loss." She started  
>"Thank you Sir."<br>"Now I was given the impression that you have something you need to share to us regarding your brush with Tyson 4 years ago."

All eyes were on Castle now. Knowing that he can't get away with it he started speaking.

"I did not tell you the whole detail on what had happened that night Kate. Sorry. When Tyson knocked Ryan out he tied me to a chair. We had a conversation. I looked him in the eye and I profiled him. I know that I was on point. He smirked at me, pulled out Ryan's gun and aimed it in my chest. He asked me where my fascination of murder came from. I did not answer him. He smiled looked me in the eye and he said those words, how close to death do you wanna get. I thought he would pull the trigger. I already made peace with myself that day. I even asked him to at least spare Ryan's life. Then he just left me there."

The room was silent. Nobody dared speak. They were all looking at Castle as if he had sprouted another head.

"With all that have happened Mr. Castle I'm afraid that I will have to forbid you from this investigation." He was about to talk but a glare from Gates stopped him. "But given the situation you are free to investigate inside this precinct. You are never allowed to go to crime scenes. And you'll have a protective detail. Understood?"

"Yes Captain. May I excuse myself for today? I have a meeting at black pawn scheduled for..." He choked on his words. "I understand Mr. Castle. You may go."


	6. Chapter 6

Kate was looking at the murder board. She suddenly shivered, clutched her own scar between her breast. The thought of what might have had happened to Castle in that hotel room scared her. If they were too late, would they have seen a bleeding Richard Castle in the floor of that hotel, fighting for his life. He would have the same scar she has now or even worst. Damn Tyson, damn him.

Ryan and Esposito was in the breakroom. Ryan was unnerved of what he just heared.

"Why would he plead to spare me Espo? He is the one with a kid not me. I'm the cop not him. He should be the one to be saved." Ryan asked him, his face haven't gained back his color.  
>"Because Kev, he is Castle. He is the kimd of person who would willing so sacrifice himself for the people he cares. That playboy persona was always what others see off him. But the true Richard Castle is what we see here in the precinct." Espo smilled and shaked her head. "I was not a fan of him the first time he shadowed Beckett. But the man has rubbed up on me this past few years. He may not have a badge but he is definitely one of us. Hell, we won't even have closed some cases without his insights."<br>"We can't let Tyson get to him right Javi? We are his brothers."  
>"You're damn right we are. So stop sulking over there and let's go back to work."<p>

Back at the bullpen, they saw Kate fuming with anger.

"Yo boss what happened" Espo asked.  
>Beckett flopped down her desk, hand in her eyes. "I forgot, the files from all of 3xk's victims were gone from the lab and from the files' room. It's seems that we'll start from scratch."<p>

They all looked at the murder board, this will be one hell of an investigation.

Another body was found the same day of Gina's burial. The team was not able to be with Castle except for Kate. She was there for Castle, and vowed that she would be there until this ended. What scared her the most is that never had Castle cried, he was not even angry. It seems that he represed his emotions. He was all hands on with Gina's funeral, that must have diverted his thoughts even for a while. She was pulled from her mushings when her phone vibrated.

"Beckett"  
>"Beckett it's Esposito."<br>"How was the crime scene Javi? Pretty much like Gina's including the flowers. He's dedicating his murder to him. And the worst is he left another message."  
>Fear suddenly gripped her heart, "What's the message?"<br>"Your death has already been planned."  
>"Thanks Espo" she whispered. She suddenly felt the ground was about to swallow her. Will she be able to handle this? Please spare Castle, she whispered.<p>

3xk was on the dot. Another body was found after that. The scene was always the same plus the presence of the roses. And with each crime scene the same words "Your death has already been planned" have been inscribed on the wall. What worried them the most, even the hard Iron Gates is Castle's lack of emotion towards it. It's as if he is already savoring his words. With the passing days Castle have been detached with them, with the lack of evidence and leads they were always ways back from Tyson. This frustrated Castle the most. He would lock himself in his office for hours. He would reason out that he was starting a new book but Kate knows that he's sinking down the rabbit hole he rescued her from. And Kate has no way of pulling him out if this progressed.


	7. Chapter 7

Kate entered the dimly lit loft. She took of her jacket and shoes. And proceeded to Rick's office. There's no doubt he would be there. She knocked and waited for an answer. Receiving none she proceede inside. She saw Castle standing near the window, arms crossed standing still like a statue. Without thinking she walked towards him and enveloped him in his arms. Without her heels he towered over her.

Catle spun around and looked at her, Kate smiled a little and hugged him. He hugged him back, Kaye felt relieved by his action. Castle buried his face into her soft curls and let loose the breath he was holding.

"Hi"  
>Kate smiled, "Hi"<br>"Kate?"  
>"Hmmmm?"<br>"You know that I love you so much right?"  
>"Castle, where is this coming from?"<br>"It's just that I have been an as this couple of days and I'm sorry I have been neglecting you."  
>"Castle you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand. Now why don't we just sleep and forget about this."<p>

Kate led Castle to their room. They had cuddled talked, that talk must have been their longest since this started. Kate drifted to a peaceful sleep for the first time that this hiatus started.

Knowing Kate has drifted off to a sleep. Castle looked at his wife. Brushed a strand of hair out of her face. He landed a kiss on her forehead. "Sorry Kate, but I have to finish this." He thought to himself. He extracted himself from her then proceeded towards his office, locked the door. He stood infront of his monitor. The one that he used for Kate's case with Bracken. He opened a folder, punched a series of passwords to view the file. The monitor flashed faces of Tyson's victim's, every single fact combined with his thoughts are in there. In the middle was his and Tyson's pictures. He knows that this will probably ruin his and Kate's relationship. He has been putting facts and investigating by himself ever since their last brush with Tyson. No psychopath will touch him and his family ever again, what he did to Gina was the last straw. He looked at the pictures and started working again, filling every single void he knew would be helpful.

Kate woke up that morning without Castle in the bed. The went to the kitchen, his office, she searched for the entire loft but he was not there. Kate panicked, scenarios have been running through her mind. She was about to call Esposito when her phone vibrated.

"Beckett, come to the precinct. ASAP"

Before she can even answer Kaspowski already disconnected the call. Her felt her heart skipped a beat, she rushed ti shower and changed then proceeded to the precinct. She may have broken a few road violations by doing so but she didn't care.

She walked out of the elevator, she saw half the precint standing at the far end of the bullpen. It seemed that everyone was holding their breaths. Some were somber, some were pale looking but most of them were angry and tensed. She proceeded towards the front beside Ryan and Esposito and she suddenly felt dizzy. In front was two monitors, similar to Castle's he must have taken it from Tori. Pictures and evidence of Jerry Tyson's violence was depicted there. Facts that they know and facts that only Castle knows. And there was Castle between the two boards.

Karpowski approched her. She asked her when was he here.  
>"I was about to leave the precinct at 3 in the morning because I was finishing this case. Then Castle just came in here, he took the monitors at the conference room then started working. He plugged a usb into it and this is what I saw. I almost felt sick by just looking at these facts. My God Beckett, he has had enough even without this. I just stayed here because I was afraid he would spring to action and do something stupid. I just watched him he may not even know that I was here. He was to engrossed with what he was doing. To tell you the truth Beckett I was afraid."<br>Beckett just noded, "Thank you for looking after him Karpowski, I owe you one."  
>"I'm happy to help."<p>

She clenched her fists and proceeded towards Castle. The whole of the bullpen held their breath

Every single one of them knows that this will end up bad.

"Castle," Kate uttered, Castle made no move or even a hint that he recognized that she was there. Feeling irritated Kate used force to spin Castle to face him, "Castle breakroom now!" Castle was still then she dragged him into the breakroom banged the door closed. With every single one from their precinct including Captain Gates watching.

"What the hell is that out there?"  
>"I was just helping" he shrugged<br>Kate's voice went an octave higher, anger oozing from her very being "Helping? God Castle. You promised me you dropped this. You promised me you stopped investigating him! How can you lie about something like this from me? I told you stop chasing ghosts...  
>"I can't!" Castle bellowed. "I can't because this is my fault! Those girls are dead because of me, Gina is dead because of me, my whole family is at risk because I can't stop him. I sent my mother and daughter abroad because I was too afraid that they'll be next. I fucked up Kate. If I was able to subdue him at that hotel room that night we would not be here right now. I was too arrogant. That who I am, I'm a knkw it all. I thought I more intelligent than him but I was wrong."<br>"Castle don't let the guilt eat you alive" she knows that Castle was not heeding her words to she angrily said, "What the fuck would you do? Let this consume you until this ends, until one of you dies?"  
>The hardness she was in those eyes made her goosebump. Castle looked her in the eyes his face a mask of stillness. "In this fight Beckett, there are only two options, he dies or we both die. Because I would willing to be killed if that's what it takes to bury that bastard to the ground."<br>He left Kate standing there, she was visibly shaking.

Castle then stood infront of the whole precinct ,"I brought you what you needed Captain, detectives. May you nail this bastard before I do because things will end up badly if I nailed him first."

He then proceeded to the elevator without looking back.


	8. Chapter 8

He did not know how he got to the loft. All he remembered was he hailed a cab. Maybe the doorman ushered him inside his own home. The first step inside the loft was unnerving. Something is not right. A chill went through his veins. He went to his office, opened his laptop he was about to type something from his mind but paused. He felt guilty by how he acted with Kate. She does not deserve this. Then a certain something or rather someone stood in front of him.

"Long time no see Castle"

He almost jumped out of his seat but willed himself not to. All the blood from his face vanished but then immediately replaced by anger. Fists clenched he stood and calmly greeted his visitor.

"I must say, I must be nuts but...I'm so happy to see you here Tyson."

Tyson smiled, he felt like the devil himself was smiling at him. Tyson stood there infront of him holding his book, heat wave, he took Castle's appearance and he smirked. Then he began to talk.

"Off all the people I have observed you were the sole person that keeps me going. That intelligence you possess, that passion you commit to your work, very inspiring. And off all the people, I know you were the only one who is able to see through me. Why wouldn't you be? You knew me better than anybody else. You are just like me."

He laughed louder, more sinister.

"I'm nothing like you!"  
>"You think? My dear little Rodgers, how can you forget?" Tyson started<p>

Castle was rooted to the spot, what the hell is he talking about? What does he know?

"Oh I forgot, you did forgot about that time. In this scenario let me be the writer, the story teller and you, my audience." Tyson stated.

"The story I'm about to tell you happened years ago. That unfaithful night. Three people were strolling into the woods, their foot falls into the crisp ground covered with dried leaves of the lush trees. Their paths are lighted by the full moon above. They would often do that, in fact they loved strolling in the night. They would talk about talk, laugh at non sense things. They were doing just that when that tragedy happened."

Castle was looking wide eyed at Tyson, flashes of things keep on emerging from his brain. But now they are more vivid. He clutched his head, "No" he whispered but Tyson kept on going.

"About an hour from walking their friend Paul noticed someone was following them. The two didn't heed his words and so they continued on. That's when things got tough. Two person emerged from their path, both holding a gun."

"So nice to see you Paul, I see you have some friends" the first person started.

"Paul covered the other two boys with his body. And told both of them to go back. But the two boys were rooted to the spot. He then told them to cover their ears and ushered them towards the big tree they just passed. He then walked back to those two. The boys heared shouting, heated voices. But as instructed covered their ears. Then a minutes later a single gun shot was heared. Both the boys were visbly shaken. Paul returned to them, grabbing each of thier hand they started to run for their lives. But then a third guy emerged. That's when things got though. The first guy pulled Paul from the boys. Then the second and third guy held each boy in the shoulders."

"The guy holding Paul whispered things to him then held the gun in his temple. Both boys started crying but to no avail. Paul must have known this is it for him. Do you remember his last words Castle? No, let me tell you then. He looked at both of the boys, smiled and utteted It'going to be fine. Then a gun shot can be heard through the night. The boys were just standing there looking at the destroyed face of their friend which was now covered with brain matter and blood. The first person took hold of some of his blood proceeded to the boys and smeared their cheeks with it then they ordered the boys to run. Both the boys were running as hell, their abductors letting them run for fun then started hunting them. You were not caught right? But you know the worst thing you did? You abandoned a friend!"

Tyson eased forward where Castle was sitting. He held Castle chin and looked him straight in the eyes. Castle's was pure agony one by one the memories are glued into his mind.

"You you now remember that time Ricky? Do you remember that boy you abandoned? That was ME! Do you remember what I was shouting when I saw you running? I was shouting for you to come back, to help me. Because I thought as a friend you would do so. Did you know that they shot me near the heart then left me there bleeding to my death but thank God I was able to survive, no thanks to you."

"That was my first issue with abandonment Castle, with neglect. You are just like my mother who did nothing for me. Then I learned that you took off from our old town. I then promised myself that I will hunt you down Castle. Our first meeting was a coincidence. Your abduction at your wedding was a warning. I will leave you be for now. They say that third times the charm right? The third time I will finally fulfill my lifelong dream to end you sorry little self. Enjoy your remaining days Castle. Say goodbye to your family and friends, your end is near!"


	9. Chapter 9

Back at the precinct, Kate stood there motionless. She wants to cry, scream beat someone but she can't for the only reason that she's in the precinct. She can't let everyone from her unit to see her like this. For them Kate Beckett is one strong woman who holds the world upon her shoulders. Keeping her tears at bay she took a deep breath. She heard a knock but she did not dare to look at who the person was in fear that she might just burst into tears.

"Kate, are you okay?"

"Kate wants to scream at her. Okay, okay? Of course I'm not okay. My husband is spiraling out of control and I can't help him, so no I'm fucking not ok." Kate thought but instead, "I'm fine" was her answer.

Off course Gates did not believe her. She walked towards her best detective whose back was to her and squeezed her shoulders. She can't fatom the detective's feelings.

"Kate, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. It's okay to be vulnerable, you earned it. We are your family, we won't hold it on you when you cry right now. We won't look at you differently."

Kate turned to face her captain, tears are threatening to spill from her eyes. She looked at her captain, she is not Montgomery. With her former captain she can always spill her guts out to him. He was her mentor, her friend her hero at some way. When Gates pulled her for a tight hug, all hell broke loose and the dam breaks spilling all her pent up anger and frustration. All these past years Gates has been an essential part of the team. She may be Iron Gates but to the 12 precinct she was their Iron Gates. Inch by inch she they had welcomed her willingly and whole heartedly into their precinct family.

"I'm afraid captain. This is the first time I saw him like that. Castle is always a puppy, always following orders. He is lovable, likable. But now, all I can see is darkness. I don't even know that he has that kind of darkness inside him. I was supposed to the broken one in this relationship not him. I don't know if we can survive this captain."

"Kate look at me," Gates brushed the tears from her detectives eyes "You and Castle has somethinf special. He supported you from the beginning to the end, he needs you more now than ever. Do not loose you hope on him, keep him grounded to reality. Never ever give up on him now. I promise you that I will do my best as your captain and I know that the whole of this precinct will do the same. We will nail this bastard once and for all. Nobody messes up with my precinct and my people."

"Thank you sir."

Outside the precinct, the new york's finest saw for the first time in their lives their best detective cry. They saw her get angry at criminals, pissed off when they have no leads to suspects. Laugh at jokes threw over their shoulders but never cry. But that does not lessen their admiration to her. For every person no matter how tough will have a breaking point. Both Gates and Beckett walked out of the breakroom and about to proceed to work as if nothing happened.

LT finished his call and spotted both Gates and Beckett in the bull pen. He quickly got all of the precinct's attention by stating, "Captain, Dtective Beckett, I just received a call from dispatch. 3xk is in Castle's building."

The whole of the precinct jumped into action upon hearing those words. Beckett felt her body was about to shut down.

"Come on Beckett, Castle needs us. We're not sure what Tyson might be planning." Javier uttered  
>"And we're not sure what Castle might do" Ryan butted in.<p>

They both half dragged, half carried Beckett at their unit. And on they went to Castle. Three off them each prayed. "Please let Castle be okay."


	10. Chapter 10

Half of the 12th precinct raced to Castle's loft with blaring lights on, luck was on their side as traffic on that side of the town was not that heavy at the moment. Kate despirately looked at the window of the crown vic. Her hands are tightly clasped together. The only thing on her mind right now is Castle.

"Please Rick be okay, please be okay." She constantly tapped his contact into her phone hoping that he will pick up the call, easing the dread she had been feeling since LT informed them of Tyson's whereabouts. But no, every single time she calls his number it goes directly to his voicemail. "Don't do anything stupid please Rick. Wait for me babe, wait for me." Without her noticing an unrully tear has slipped down her cheek. Wiping it briskly, "It's not the time to cry Kate. Just a couple of minutes more. Have faith on your man."

Esposito drew Kate out of her mushings saying,"He'll be fine Beckett, if there's one thing that Castle will do till the day he dies is to never leave you without a fight, without saying goodbye." Kate smiled a little at this, that sounds like the Castle she married. "We"re here Beckett." Ryan stated.

All three of them moved out of the car along with a number of uniforms. With Captain Gates on command they rushed into Castle's building. They separated ways, some went through the stairs and some including Kate, her boys and Gates took the elevator. Upon arriving at Castle's door, they noticed two of the uniforms guarding Castle was down. They checked on them.

"Tyson might have knocked them down. They both have lumps on their head," Karpowski stated.  
>"Let the medics check on them." Gates stated.<p>

After that, at Gate's command both Esposito and Ryan broke Castle's door. Then they all rushed inside the loft scanning for Tyson. A continuous shouts of "Castle" was heared inside as they despirately looked for their precinct's infamous writer.

"Here" an audible but slightly slurred sound came from Castle's office.

Kate immediately rushed to her husband. When she saw him without any care in the world she launched himself to him. She hugged him tightly and Castle did the same. When her heart beat slowed down he looked at him, she noticed that he was supporting a gash on his forhead.

"Castle you're bleeding." She took her handkerchief in her pocket and pressed the wound on Castle's forhead.  
>"It's nothing Kate, I'm okay." He assured his wife. Then hugged her more.<br>"Is he here?"  
>"No he's gone."<br>"What does he want now?"  
>"Later babe."<br>"Come on Castle let's get you checked out."

Kate led Castle out of his office to the kitchen. The uniforms have finished their rounds around the loft and proceeded outside to canvass. Castle was checked out by the medics and was cleared right away. At that moment only Kate, Esposito, Ryan and Gates is with him.

"What happened Mr. Castle?" Gates inquired.  
>He entwined his fingers with Kate, looked at her first then at Gates.<br>"He was just paying me a visit Captain. For good time's sake." He intended to lighten the mood but failed greatly.  
>Kate squeezed his hand tightly. "Enough of that smart mouth of yours for now Rick and tell us what happened."<p>

Castle knew that they will not let this go, so he told them what happened. But Kate, Esposito and Ryan was not impressed of his story. Knowing Castle for years, they knew that he was leaving some pertinent facts behind. They will have to ask him of this later.

"He gave me a warning Captain. After that he knocked me with a gun. I woke up when someone broke my door." He looked Gates in the eyes and stated, "He intended to finish me this time. And from the looks of it he will do everything to accomplish just that. What he intend to do to me will be his best game yet. No more hiding, he will do it face to face, I know he will."  
>"We can't let that happen can we? From now on Castle you are to be with either Detectives Ryan, Esposito or Beckett. I don't want you to be alone even for a second. No offence to your men Ryan but I'll be more at ease if he is you either of you three."<p>

"None taken Captain. I do agree with you on this one."  
>"Why don't you book for a hotel for the night Mr. Castle?"<br>"I'll be fine here Captain. Besides my three musketeers will stay here with me tonight."  
>"If that's what you want then." Gates then went out of the loft."<br>"I'm glad you're okay Castle." Ryan stated giving Castle a back slap with Esposito doing the same.  
>"Yeah I'm glad I'm okay too." He smiled a bit.<p>

He stood near Kate again and enveloped her in his arms. He knew she needed the assurance that he is with her and so does he. Kate inhaled his scent, the scent that speaks only of Castle. Being in his arms she willed herself to hope that this will all come to pass. When the morning comes, all this will end. Just like a nightmare it will come to pass when the dawn has graced them with its mere presence.


End file.
